And because I had a need to make the other kids like me that I couldn’t fulfill through my social interactions, I learned that I could become indispensable by how I played.Īs a soccer player, that meant I alternated between centerback, sweeper, and defensive midfield. I was, fortunately, a pretty good athlete, so I played on a lot of different teams for my school. Soccer, American football, basketball, baseball, whatever: physical activity was the only way I was able to relate to other kids.
The only time I had any real social interaction with my peers was when we played sports.
The only burden greater than my unsociability was my desire to be liked, which, as you’d expect, meant that I was constantly, desperately sad.
I didn’t talk to other students, not because I thought I was better, but because I was so conversationally bad that I hadn’t even the foggiest idea of how to be an acquaintance, much less a friend. I spent my spare time at school reading my history textbooks cover to cover instead of interacting with my classmates.
